Lifehacker’s Recipe for a Modern-Day Idol

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Ancient peoples and some Eastern cultures practice idol worship.  But why carry around extra weight when you can enjoy the convenience of a modern-day idol? With a few simple tools, you can make your very own, free, weightless idol.

Ingredients & Tools

You will need an untamed imagination, a dull conscience, a bucket of moral relativism, and a heaping measure of fleshly emotions.

Instructions

Start by testing your conscience.  If it matters who God is, or whether there’s right and wrong, your conscience is too sharp.  Flip through TV channels or scroll through sites until your conscience dulls.  Now take a blob of wild ideas and chip away anything that offends you.  Mold the blob until it feels comfortable in your grasp.  Avoid giving it eyes to watch you or a mouth to speak conmands.  Give your idol a full belly to hold your carnal passions.  If your idol looks a lot like you, that’s perfectly fine.  Make as many idols as you please, of every shape, carving a blissful smile on every blank face.

Warning

If, for whatever reason, your idol seems alive, you’ve made a dreadful mistake.  If your idol speaks to you, becoming concerned about your carnality, or promising higher dreams; then you do not have an idol – you may just have a living God.   This can have dangerous results.  A flowing fire will burn away your fleshly desires. Your conscience will destroy your blob of wild imagination and replace it with a higher plan.  Rather than you shaping your god, your living God will shape you.

Remember, you make an idol to conform to your image, but a living God makes you to conform to his image.

Note

This recipe for a modern-day idol will suit many modern-day folks, but some will sense a deeper longing, as this writer has.   Some will submit to the “danger” of a living God.  They will lay down their lives, only to find it returned abundantly.  But everyone must make their choice.  God is dangerous to our comfortable way of life, but even more dangerous is willing ignorance of a living God.

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